Feeling Embarrassed

“We get embarrassed that our clothes are last year’s fashion, that our vehicle costs less than the neighbor’s, or that our house is smaller than our guest’s. We apologize for the worn carpet, make excuses for the outdated kitchen, or point out specifically why we haven’t updated the counter tops yet but what would happen if we stopped getting embarrassed over the wrong things and started pursuing the right things?” Joshua Becker – Becoming Minimalist

This morning as I lay in bed I was looking at the pile of laundry that has been growing on my bedroom floor since the week before Christmas. I picked up my phone and started to flip through my Facebook feed when I came across a post from Becoming Minimalist that got me thinking about some things. I don’t always pick up my phone right away in the morning but I didn’t sleep well and I was feeling warm all snuggled up. With all of the preparations there are for the holidays I had neglected some of my usual tasks, such as taking care of my own laundry. There was a mix of some clean, some dirty, underneath hid a basket of mismatched socks and random items.  Anytime someone came over I made quick to shut my bedroom door because I was embarrassed that someone would see my mess as they went to use the bathroom which is right across the hall.  I haven’t had time to take care of my pile, everyday presented other tasks that didn’t require me to stay closed into my room but that true fact was I didn’t want to take care of it. I have been procrastinating to say the very least.

Usually after Christmas comes and goes I feel a great sense to purge. Maybe it’s because it feels good to put things back in there place and get rid of the things that don’t belong or maybe it’s because with all the new gifts from Christmas I realize we have too much stuff.  This year, as I look at my huge pile of clothes, my basement that is overflowing with stuff, my kitchen cupboards that hardly close I am feeling a major sense to purge.  I’ve been working a lot on my spiritual life and purging the things that don’t fill me spiritually. I don’t watch television, I’ve changed the types of movies that I watch, music that I listen to, people that I spend my time with but I feel God calling me to do more.  Could this be it?

I admit, I wanted to race right over to Herberger’s after Christmas for the great door buster deals, but then I looked at my growing pile of clothes and realized that I didn’t NEED anything. I wanted to buy some new boots, a few new tops to wear this winter and maybe a pair of jeans. Joshua Becker wrote about being embarrassed over the wrong things.  How embarrassed I felt when I realized that I wanted more when I already have too much. How embarrassed I felt when I thought of those that may not have enough warm clothes to wear let alone a pair of fashionable boots that will keep me warm and make me feel cute. “ What if, instead of being embarrassed over the quality and quantity of our possessions, we became embarrassed over how much money we have spent on our own selfish pursuits?” This sentence struck a chord in me but I got up, out of my warm and cozy bed to make breakfast for the babes. I thought about this while I made eggs and emptied the dishwasher. I thought about how I really needed to start just giving things away. Then I sat down to read Molly her devotion for the day and this is what I read.

“I will bless you with incredible blessings. Genesis 22:17. Have you ever begged your mom or dad to buy you something at the store? Sometimes we think we need more than what we have. But God really has given us all kinds of wonderful things. We have families who love us, friends to play with, food to eat and houses to keep us safe and warm. And we have Jesus in the Eucharist. That’s a lot to be happy about!” – Blessings Everyday

God speaks to me, all the time! Most of the time it sounds like Bumblebee from Transformers, all broken up and from different places but He speaks. I spend so much time putting things away, it is ridiculous. Time that I could be writing, time that I could be playing with my kids, time that could be spent reading meaningful books or in prayer. How could I ignore this message that is so very clear? We all have so much, couldn’t we give some of it up to those who may actually NEED it? What is God calling you to do? Could it be that unexplained desire to go to confession or the unexplained thought you had about spending time in adoration? Those thoughts that pop up and don’t go away are God. When you read something that really hits home, do something about it because that is God calling you to do more.

Update: I donated 2 garbage bags full of just my clothes and have 3 more downstairs of the kids’ clothes to give to friends!


Wellness Journey


5:08AM. Molly wakes up to eat. “OMGoodness, I have to get up in like 20 minutes, ugggh”. I plop her on and let her eat while I drift back into slumber for the few more minutes that I can. My bed is so warm, the house is so quiet, I’M SO TIRED.

5:48AM. After pushing the snooze button on my phone for the third time I come to the conclusion that, yes, I really do need to do this now. But it’s so cold and I’M SO TIRED.
“Get up, get up, get up, get out of bed Tiffany, just get up… OK I’ll get up already!”

I lay Molly back in her crib and cover her with her fuzzy warm blanket.

I drag my sorry but down the hall and into the kitchen to start myself a pot of coffee. It couldn’t possibly brew any slower but I did it. I’m awake before 6AM and I’m out of bed. So it’s 30 minutes later that I had hoped for but baby steps, right?

So, now that I’m awake, where am I going to start? Maybe the leaning pile of papers on my desk? Maybe I’ll read? Maybe… I’ll just enjoy sitting in my office, drinking my coffee and enjoying the silence while it lasts…yup that sounds good.

Uncategorized, Wellness Journey


I am not a morning person. I’ve never been a morning person, my (older) kids learned at a very young age how to make themselves a bowl of cereal and turn on cartoons so that mommy could sleep a little longer. Well we no longer have cable and we have four children, so cereal and cartoons are not really an option anymore. I have been saying to myself that I need to just get out of bed and get my day rolling much earlier. When I get up earlier I feel like I have more time to get myself going before the kids rise and all hell breaks loose. Most days I feel like I fall out of bed and then I’m falling behind all day long. Maybe this is why my motivation levels have been way down.

This morning was no different than any other Monday, I wake up, lay in bed as my mind is telling me “just get up dummy, you can do it, get up, take a shower before everyone else starts waking up and needing something from you”. But I didn’t get up, I lay in bed trying to get just a few more minutes in.

Finally I get up because little man is looking for underpants, look at the clock and realize it’s go time and I need to get him off to daycare before the phone starts ringing. I rush out the door in my pajamas, with my wild morning hair and get him to daycare before 9:30. Once I get back home my plan was to take a shower and get ready for the day. As I write this I am still in my pajamas. I attempted at making myself some breakfast but between the baby trying to eat, the phone ringing and sick kids down the hall I finally managed to make some juice and a peanut butter sandwich. This is my life, every day I’m rushing around trying to get everything done and nothing seems to quite go right.

I need to get up earlier!

As an effort of procrastination (something I’m really good at doing) I went on to zen habits habits. I found something about motivation and read that a good way at motivating yourself is to publicly announce that you’ll be doing something to keep you accountable. So here it goes…

I will get up, out of bed by 5:30 am every day for the next 2 weeks!