Getting my groove back.

Some things that I have learned about pregnancy are, 1) don’t try to implement anything new into your routine because being pregnant and having a baby is a big enough change to learn, 2) expect that your days aren’t going to go as planned, and 3) your are now a slave to your tired, aching body, it is now going to determine what you do every day.

I forgot how much time a baby takes. Nursing a newborn is definitely a labor of love and it takes a lot of time out of your day. Then there are diapers to change, clothes to wash after she has pooped and spit up on everything. Not to mention all of your other daily chores that never seem to get done because you don’t have enough time or your body is so tired that you can’t possibly do one more thing. I use to be able to clean my kitchen, get dinner ready and fold two loads of laundry in just a few hours. Now it takes me all day and if I don’t start preparing for dinner by 2 pm I get too tired and irritable to deal with it at supper time.

I am completely in love with my little Molly, my mind and body just need to learn how to manage everything in each new day. Yesterday as I was feeding my baby I thanked God for giving me a beautiful and healthy baby, then I realized that I was crying (stupid hormones). As for my body, I feel swell except for my aching back and these headaches. I went to the chiropractor the other day and felt a lot better but I need to go back a few more times to get on the mend. I think I should start doing some core exercises so that I get some strength back. I don’t remember ever having this much pain in my back after birth but I am getting older now so maybe that has something to do with it!

My three year old just about lost his two front teeth during a family bowling night. He tripped while holding his bowling ball and his face ended up in the ball. The dentist fixed him up the next morning but at the time it was pretty traumatic for the little guy. I’m really proud of myself for how calm I was and the husband really took control of the situation and kept everyone laughing (nothing unusual for him). The truth is, these things are going to happen, they are out of our control and it does no one any good to freak out. Once we got the little guy calmed down, gave him some ibuprofen and major oragel the rest of the night was good. I always say there is a reason God made Willie my third child and not my first, because I would probably have ulcers if he was! I think most parents are more relaxed by the time their third and fourth child come along which is probably for the best.


Newborns and hockey practice.

Saturday afternoon hockey practice (which I almost forgot about) is a bit of a challenge getting to on time. I was nursing the baby when I looked at my phone to see the time. Luckily Avery mentioned something about hockey and it was like a light went off in my brain. I had 15 minutes to feed the baby and get William to practice. Couldn’t find any sweatpants, I sent my oldest downstairs to grab some out of the dirty laundry. His “hurry up” and mine are obviously completely different definitions. I was yelling at the kids to help and suffering through nursing Molly (who has a shallow latch, incredibly painful). Thank goodness I decided to stop a subway on my way home from the bank because I was starving and becoming more crabby. On my way out the door I stopped to see my husband so Willy could say “hi” before practice. Will is so excited to have his boy playing hockey but often has to miss practice because of our work schedule. So, as we are saying goodby, with 10 minutes to spare, my husband says something that just set me off.

Juggling 3 kids, a newborn, a husband, work and home is proving to be much more difficult than I had expected. Granted it has only been a week but I’m beginning to feel the pressure. I could have cried, the tears were there waiting to come out but I avoided it and just took some deep breaths and told myself to calm down. I feel like I’m constantly running this inner monologue, telling myself to calm down, it will be ok, they are kids, they are going to make mistakes and not listen from time to time. I need to really focus on being the mom I want to be and stop expecting so much from them.

“It takes a village to raise children”. I don’t know where this quote originated or who said it but I never really bought into it until recent years. I don’t have parents that live close by or who I can handle to be around for more than a few days. I don’t have relatives that come over to help out at the house so I can rest, but they continue to tell me to take it easy. I really envy those moms who have a solid support network because I don’t have that and don’t think that I will because Im not one to ask for help. So I continue to do my best because that is all that I can do. When people ask me why I’m at hockey practice when my baby is only days old I want to scream inside but outwardly I just smile and say “I do what I have to do”. I’m exhausted, crabby, my back hurts, my nipples feel like they’re going to fall off but I’m doing it anyway and trying to stay positive.



The wait is over!

She is here! Yes I said she, my little Molly was born at home on Friday October 5th 2012! I’ll go into more details about my home birth experience later because for now I’m still trying to get use to having a baby in the house again. I forgot how much longer it takes to get things done. I also forgot how tired I was going to be and how much time breast feeding can take from your day!

Overall it has been such an amazing blessing! My kids are all just so excited, they race off the bus to see her after school. My biggest challenge right now is trying to find balance win four kids in the house! My youngest son William has been just bouncing off the walls because he is so excited to be a big brother. I’m struggling a bit with the noise but I know it’s only because I’m super tired. I feel great but my back has been pretty sore and my milk is letting down which has been pretty painful. I’m not going to complain though because God has gifted us with a beautiful little girl and I am so very happy! I struggle to hold back the tears sometimes just thinking about it.




Still waiting!

So ….20121004-145409.jpgYes, I’m still waiting to see my little baby. Honestly it’s beginning to get a little frustrating but I’m trying to cope as much as possible. It really doesn’t help when people say “you’re still pregnant!?” I’m trying to stay positive and just laugh it off but some days are really quite difficult. I’m going a little crazy staying home so I ventured off today and went shopping for the morning. We are getting our new bed this weekend so I had to go buy a new comforter and such because it is a bigger bed than we currently have. I’m pretty excited because it is a sleep number and it is sooooo comfy. Hopefully I’ll deliver the baby before the bed gets delivered, haha.

I felt a lot of “action” today while I was walking around the mall. Everyday I feel more contractions, which makes me cheer a little inside. I never thought that I would be excited to feel contractions but I’m so anxious that every little pain is progress. I feel great and I don’t mind being pregnant, I’m just ready to hold my little babe!

This picture was taken by a local photographer, Lisa Sherwood Photography did such an amazing job with my maternity photos. I am absolutely 100% happy with all of my images and I can’t wait to order my photos!


Come out, come out wherever you are.

I really thought that I’d have had this baby by now, it’s really surprising me how well I feel. I don’t really even feel like I”m pregnant, outside of the uncomfortable sleep, the hip pain and of course the moving little baby inside of me. I have one week exactly until my due date and I’ve had a few contractions but really I do feel great.

Being that I’m ALWAYS early with babies I figured that I wouldn’t make it until October but I think that I just might be surprised this time. I’m just getting really antsy because everything is ready. I don’t think that I could be anymore prepared for this baby to come. I have the diapers, disposable and cloth, wipes, blankets, hats, onesies, a few items of clothing, bottles, everything necessary for a baby, just no baby yet.

My energy level is pretty good, sleep hasn’t been bad (I do have to wake up about every 3 hours to pee). If I had to judge how this labor process was going to be by how I felt a few months ago I would have guessed that I’d be miserable right now! I can’t remember how I felt the last few weeks of my pregnancy with William. I remember that I thought he was coming so I took time off of work and then everything stopped so I went back for another week and he was born after Thanksgiving. Maybe I just need to get back to work! I’ve been taking it pretty easy only because I can, maybe I should get back in the kitchen and work this baby out.

Owning a business has made this experience a lot different than all the other pregnancies. I do have a lot of work to do but I also have the luxury of taking time off when I need to. Our employees have really taken over a lot of my tasks so even when I am working I feel like I’m just in the way. It’s almost easier on everyone if I just stay home!

I don’t know what the answer is, I guess it’s just another lesson in patience from God! He/She will come out and join us when he/she is good and ready. I’m just so excited, which makes it really hard to wait!



Dear Teenage Me

I’ve been thinking about starting a series for my blog titled Dear…   where I would write a letter to someone in my life. I would write about the things that I want to tell them but may not necessarily be able to actually say. I got the idea after I wrote Dear Baby the other day and then when I went on the Nesting Place today it sort of made my decision for me. Sometimes you get little signs in life and you just have to trust that they will take you the right direction.

Since I’ve turned 30 and my 10 year reunion was just a few years ago I’ve been thinking a lot about high school. We had a girl living with us last year while she finished her senior year and it really hit home for me. Dealing with family, learning who you are, becoming a woman but still being a child. There is a lot to process in those few years, writing this letter sort of lets me put some closure on my past.

Anyway, Emily at Chatting at the Sky started a link up party for letters to your teenaged self, check it out if you’re interested!

Dear Teenage Me,

Being a teenager is tough, you have all these hormones that you don’t understand, self-esteem issues that you don’t understand, a crazy mother that you don’t understand and you just lost the most important person in your life.  Plus all of your friends are going through similar changes and they don’t understand either. Life is not so black and white, learn to look past the issue in front of your face and try to see the whole picture, it will make things a lot easier.

Don’t make fun of people. It’s not cool or funny to pick on other peoples insecurities and the only reason that you do it is to hide your own insecurities. Work on yourself rather than put other people down. Being kind to others can only bring good to your life.

Your mother is crazy, really, she’s crazy and it’s not just you. Don’t try to hurt yourself to get back at her, don’t put yourself down because she can’t cope with her own flaws. You will get past these next few years and you will learn that you are not her (no matter how many people tell you how much you look alike).  Find a good counselor, someone that you can talk to and get the crap out, your stomach will feel better and the headaches will go away.

Trust in God. I know that’s hard to swallow right now, especially since grandpa died and he was the only one that seemed to get you. Find some faith, the sooner you do and the sooner that you trust in Him the easier life will be. Ok, maybe life won’t get easier but it can be a lot less stressful. Life will not go as you expect but if you have faith and let God guide your path you will be pleasantly surprised.

Don’t stop writing. You are good, you have a lot of potential and you really love it. Keep at it and you will only get better, who knows you could be a writer someday.  It’s not a worthless career choice, you don’t need to just get a mindless job to pay the bills and as a result be unhappy for the rest of your life. You have talent don’t waste it.

Don’t drop out of band your senior year. This is supposed to be the best year of your high school life; you’ll only regret dropping out of band. Keep practicing and join a college band after you graduate. You have worked so hard, music is an incredible gift that you don’t want to just throw away because you are so stuck in a depression that nothing seems to matter.

Don’t be afraid to try new things, living in fear will only hold you back from the exciting life that you deserve to have. Get tattoos, try new things, meet new people, sing, travel, and don’t fear doing things because of what family members might say. They are stuck in their ways and that is not you. By the way, you will join the Army and kick ass doing it despite what your family members may have told you.

Be yourself and most importantly love yourself!



A little more mature but not quite grown up.


Lazy Saturday

Normally Saturdays for this family are crazy busy. There is usually a wedding to get ready for which involves, cleaning, setting tables, getting supper ready for the kids, hoping the babysitter won’t cop out, trying to get a laundry list of other things done. Today is a different story. For some strange reason we haven’t had to work for the past few Saturdays and today was an especially lazy day. Sure I could have tackled the mountain of laundry that has some how accumulated in my basement, I could have worked out in the yard, but instead I did nothing productive. 2 of my 3 children were gone for the majority of the day so Will and I decided to take a quick trip to St Cloud.

My destination of choice was Target, I had gone there earlier in the week and bought some slippers on sale, turns out they are awesome and I wanted to snag a few more pairs while they still had them. Normally I wouldn’t do that but I’m starting to learn that if I find something that I like I need to get it right away or it will be gone. While picking up the slippers I also found some leggings for $3 and a Belly Bandit. I was really excited about finding one of these in the clearance pile because normally they run $49.95 at Target and it was marked down to….(drum roll please) $12.46! I’ve seen them in parenting magazines and I can’t wait to try it out. Maybe I’ll do a review!

Anyway, I also stopped at my friends salon (Panache in Sartell) and picked up some beauty products that I’m running low on. Control Force hairspray by Aveda and Damage Remedy. After picking up an Almond Iced Latte (my favorite treat) Will and I stopped to have some lunch at Granite City. It was nice to sit and enjoy some conversation without a three year old trying to talk over you! We talked some shop, had a little business meeting if you will, and ate a light lunch before heading home. I had the french onion soup, yummm!

Will planned on going fishing with a friend and being that I still only had one of my children at home, I took the opportunity to have some quiet time. I did some blog research for an e-course that I’m taking. offers a free e-course called Blog Love. I love their blog so I figured why not give their course a try. It involves a lot of free writing and brainstorming right now but I feel like my cogs are starting to turn. You should check them out if you are interested!

Now all of the kids are home and I feel like I should probably do something constructive for the evening, maybe cook dinner because they will get hungry eventually. It was a nice day to do nothing, sometimes you have to have days when you put the to do list away and just go wherever your heart desires.