Do you ever wake up angry and you just can’t explain it? That is until you start walking around the house after your husband watched the kids last night (while you were working) and realize that things are in total disarray? Then you think about when he asked you yesterday what you did all day (while he was gone fishing), almost in a tone that says “wow this place looks like shit WHAT did you do all day?” The fact that your daughter finally decided to do her laundry last night but didn’t put it in the dryer, then when you open the dryer to put her clothes in you realize that she put YOUR clothes in the dryer and not all of them belong in the dryer. Then you look outside as you are coming upstairs from the laundry fiasco to see that she left the baby stroller outside last night and it rained. There are dishes to be done, diapers to wash, oh yeah and number 3 decided to pee in bed again, so that means stripping the bed AGAIN and washing everything on the bed AGAIN, which really means two extra loads of washing because you can’t wash it all at the same time. No wonder I can never get ahead on laundry! Then there is payroll that needs to get done while I try to breastfeed a clingy baby all day. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, they just drive me a little crazy sometimes. I find myself getting more and more frustrated as I walk through the house; drink glasses left on the table, baby food (that I took the time to make for the whole week) got left out on the table (which means I have to make a new batch for the whole week), jeans left on the chair, sweatshirts on the couch, no clean towels left in the house… It goes on and on. Everything that I need to get done today is not stuff that is visually noticable so when the husband gets home today from taking number 3 to hockey practice he’ll probably ask “what did you do all day” and I’ll probably take it the wrong way and blow up. Some days a girl just can’t get ahead!
I have been trying to figure out how to incorporate videos into my blog in hopes that it will help me post more often. I have been away for the past few months because I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to juggle business, house maintenance, shuttling kids and sleep deprivation. I post often on Facebook and Pinterest because what else do you do while you’re breastfeeding?
We have done some remodeling in our house for the past few weeks, turning our former living room into a office and a bedroom. This involved putting up a wall, adding a door in the hallway, a bunch of electrical junk and painting. Woof. It seemed like my house would never be back in order, so I decided to have a party. Things got done really fast and now I have my very own office to decorate whichever way I choose! Anyway, my point is, I now have an office space all to myself and I am hoping to dedicate some time each day to my blog.
I spent most of today home alone (well Molly was here) and instead of cleaning like I would normally do if I were home alone, I learned how to make and edit a video on my iPad. Believe me it took all day due to the phone ringing nonstop and random drop ins! It’s very simple so don’t judge me too harshly because after all it is my first one. Hopefully I’ll continue to get better at the video blog over time. You can find me on YouTube!
Today I did it, I put on my skinny jeans and they zipped AND buttoned! I did a little victory dance in the bathroom and continued with my morning. It isn’t a great surprise to me because I was able to fit back into my pre pregnancy clothes all around the two week marker. I didn’t mentioned all of the goodness spilling out of my jeans and they are not by any means comfortable but they fit! I feel like that is a step in the right direction.
I’ve been doing a few exercises (only recommended by my midwife) and trying to get my back strong again by doing some of the physical therapy exercises given by my chiropractor. I’m anxious to start working out but I’m so tired that I don’t think it is a good idea at this point. I have a post pregnancy yoga workout that I will probably start doing in the next few days. I’m really excited and motivated to get back into shape!
After I had Willie it took me a long time to get back into working out regularly and I never felt like I got into shape. Sure I lost the weight fairly easily but I never had that defined body that I wanted. Eating habits had a lot to do with it and we were really focused on our business development at the time. Will and I both gained a bit of weight during the first few years of owning our business. Now I feel like I am comfortable with my contributions at the ballroom and better able to juggle things at home.
I have an appointment with my midwife next week and I’m hoping she will give me a thumbs up to begin a workout routine!
Some things that I have learned about pregnancy are, 1) don’t try to implement anything new into your routine because being pregnant and having a baby is a big enough change to learn, 2) expect that your days aren’t going to go as planned, and 3) your are now a slave to your tired, aching body, it is now going to determine what you do every day.
I forgot how much time a baby takes. Nursing a newborn is definitely a labor of love and it takes a lot of time out of your day. Then there are diapers to change, clothes to wash after she has pooped and spit up on everything. Not to mention all of your other daily chores that never seem to get done because you don’t have enough time or your body is so tired that you can’t possibly do one more thing. I use to be able to clean my kitchen, get dinner ready and fold two loads of laundry in just a few hours. Now it takes me all day and if I don’t start preparing for dinner by 2 pm I get too tired and irritable to deal with it at supper time.
I am completely in love with my little Molly, my mind and body just need to learn how to manage everything in each new day. Yesterday as I was feeding my baby I thanked God for giving me a beautiful and healthy baby, then I realized that I was crying (stupid hormones). As for my body, I feel swell except for my aching back and these headaches. I went to the chiropractor the other day and felt a lot better but I need to go back a few more times to get on the mend. I think I should start doing some core exercises so that I get some strength back. I don’t remember ever having this much pain in my back after birth but I am getting older now so maybe that has something to do with it!
My three year old just about lost his two front teeth during a family bowling night. He tripped while holding his bowling ball and his face ended up in the ball. The dentist fixed him up the next morning but at the time it was pretty traumatic for the little guy. I’m really proud of myself for how calm I was and the husband really took control of the situation and kept everyone laughing (nothing unusual for him). The truth is, these things are going to happen, they are out of our control and it does no one any good to freak out. Once we got the little guy calmed down, gave him some ibuprofen and major oragel the rest of the night was good. I always say there is a reason God made Willie my third child and not my first, because I would probably have ulcers if he was! I think most parents are more relaxed by the time their third and fourth child come along which is probably for the best.
Saturday afternoon hockey practice (which I almost forgot about) is a bit of a challenge getting to on time. I was nursing the baby when I looked at my phone to see the time. Luckily Avery mentioned something about hockey and it was like a light went off in my brain. I had 15 minutes to feed the baby and get William to practice. Couldn’t find any sweatpants, I sent my oldest downstairs to grab some out of the dirty laundry. His “hurry up” and mine are obviously completely different definitions. I was yelling at the kids to help and suffering through nursing Molly (who has a shallow latch, incredibly painful). Thank goodness I decided to stop a subway on my way home from the bank because I was starving and becoming more crabby. On my way out the door I stopped to see my husband so Willy could say “hi” before practice. Will is so excited to have his boy playing hockey but often has to miss practice because of our work schedule. So, as we are saying goodby, with 10 minutes to spare, my husband says something that just set me off.
Juggling 3 kids, a newborn, a husband, work and home is proving to be much more difficult than I had expected. Granted it has only been a week but I’m beginning to feel the pressure. I could have cried, the tears were there waiting to come out but I avoided it and just took some deep breaths and told myself to calm down. I feel like I’m constantly running this inner monologue, telling myself to calm down, it will be ok, they are kids, they are going to make mistakes and not listen from time to time. I need to really focus on being the mom I want to be and stop expecting so much from them.
“It takes a village to raise children”. I don’t know where this quote originated or who said it but I never really bought into it until recent years. I don’t have parents that live close by or who I can handle to be around for more than a few days. I don’t have relatives that come over to help out at the house so I can rest, but they continue to tell me to take it easy. I really envy those moms who have a solid support network because I don’t have that and don’t think that I will because Im not one to ask for help. So I continue to do my best because that is all that I can do. When people ask me why I’m at hockey practice when my baby is only days old I want to scream inside but outwardly I just smile and say “I do what I have to do”. I’m exhausted, crabby, my back hurts, my nipples feel like they’re going to fall off but I’m doing it anyway and trying to stay positive.
She is here! Yes I said she, my little Molly was born at home on Friday October 5th 2012! I’ll go into more details about my home birth experience later because for now I’m still trying to get use to having a baby in the house again. I forgot how much longer it takes to get things done. I also forgot how tired I was going to be and how much time breast feeding can take from your day!
Overall it has been such an amazing blessing! My kids are all just so excited, they race off the bus to see her after school. My biggest challenge right now is trying to find balance win four kids in the house! My youngest son William has been just bouncing off the walls because he is so excited to be a big brother. I’m struggling a bit with the noise but I know it’s only because I’m super tired. I feel great but my back has been pretty sore and my milk is letting down which has been pretty painful. I’m not going to complain though because God has gifted us with a beautiful little girl and I am so very happy! I struggle to hold back the tears sometimes just thinking about it.
So ….Yes, I’m still waiting to see my little baby. Honestly it’s beginning to get a little frustrating but I’m trying to cope as much as possible. It really doesn’t help when people say “you’re still pregnant!?” I’m trying to stay positive and just laugh it off but some days are really quite difficult. I’m going a little crazy staying home so I ventured off today and went shopping for the morning. We are getting our new bed this weekend so I had to go buy a new comforter and such because it is a bigger bed than we currently have. I’m pretty excited because it is a sleep number and it is sooooo comfy. Hopefully I’ll deliver the baby before the bed gets delivered, haha.
I felt a lot of “action” today while I was walking around the mall. Everyday I feel more contractions, which makes me cheer a little inside. I never thought that I would be excited to feel contractions but I’m so anxious that every little pain is progress. I feel great and I don’t mind being pregnant, I’m just ready to hold my little babe!
This picture was taken by a local photographer, Lisa Sherwood Photography did such an amazing job with my maternity photos. I am absolutely 100% happy with all of my images and I can’t wait to order my photos!